I Hope Our Kids Never Sleep in the Crapper

Klara was my wedding gift from Adam.

After a particularly large lunch, we decided to "just walk around the pet store" that is next door.

I tried to resist. 

Because the last time we went to "just walk around the pet store" we came home with Luna. 

As we "just looked" at the kitties that they had, I breathed a sigh of relief that they were all full-grown.  Cats way bigger than Hazel and Luna.  Cats that didn't really seem to fit with our family.

And then Adam said, "Wait, look over there."  Crap.

There was a little grey kitten, curled up on a cat bed.  Trying to sleep, even though all the other big cats were playing like crazy.  It musta been hard to sleep through that.

We found out that she was very sick.  She had gotten an infection after her spay surgery, spiked a fever of 106, and almost died.  But she seemed to be on the mend. 

And she needed a momma. 

 So we brought her home.  And then she got an upper respiratory infection.  Her breath smelled.  She would sneeze and huge boogers would hang out of her nose.  I didn't even know cats could get upper respiratory infections!  It was gross!  And her breath...dear God,...don't even get me started on her breath!

There are so many things that I love about Klara.

She is a cuddler.  With Adam and I.  With Hazel.  With Luna.  With strangers who come to feed them when Adam and I are gone.

She is loud.  Did you know that kittens learn to meow from their mommas?  Yup, they sure do.

Luna and Klara don't know how to meow, because they were separated from their mommas before they were old enough to learn to meow.  So they warble and chirp.  It's cute.

And when she's happy, her little "Purr Motor" really gets a'going. 

But Klara has recently started doing something that is not so cute. 

You know, just lounging in the toilet. 

She's gross. 

But, golly, she's cute.

Music Monday: Home

I just got home from a conference in Atlanta.

And in three days, I leave for a conference in Louisville. 

I'm traveling a lot these days.  I love it.  But, boy, I love coming home.

I love this video, because everyone is so quirky in it.

They dance like I do.

And I love this version, because it's so gosh darned CUTE!

Home is wherever I'm with you.
Home is whenever I'm with you.

Loaves of Love Update

One of the reasons that I was so bummed out by not getting into the PhD program at IU was because it offered a monthly stipend.  And that stipend would have, very easily, covered the cost of our adoption.  Completely.

Because, really, I don't like asking people for things.  I don't like asking for prayer, help, money, or support.  It's so hard for me.

It's hard to put it out there and say, "Hey, guess what?  This is what God wants us to do, but we need your help to do it."  Whew.  Those words are so hard for me.

(Maybe I should have just named this blog So Hard, huh?)

I remember, when Adam and I first made the decision to adopt, Adam said, "How are we going to pay for it?"  And I said, "I don't know.  But if God called us to do it, He will make a way." 

But God is faithful. And so are people.

This week we had three Loaves of Love orders!  THREE! 

And one coffee order through Just Love. 

I need for people to know how much we appreciate the support. 

For our wedding, we asked people to consider supporting our adoption, rather than purchasing a gift.  The results were amazing.  We got a check from Adam's great uncle and, in the subject line, he wrote, "Miller Family Growth Fund." 

I sat in my car and cried.  For about twenty minutes.

For my shower, our friends Brian and Rachel gave us a cookie jar with money in it.  On the front, there was a little chalkboard.  They drew a picture of a bottle and a rattle and wrote, "Baby Fund." 

And I cried some more. 

I cry every single time someone joins our adoption journey. 

By reading our blog, commenting, sharing it with friends, buying bread or coffee, donating money, praying for us, you are joining in our journey.  And we are so grateful.

We've had some questions about Loaves of Love.  I'll try to answer some of them.

Do I have to have it shipped to me?

No, absolutely not.  If you are in Indianapolis, I am more than happy to pick up the bread and deliver it to you.  If you live in the Greater Metropolitan Area of Fulton, you can probably pick up your bread from Dave Sommers.  If you are outside of those areas, shipping is probably a good idea.

How do I pay?

When you fill out an order form, it comes directly to my e-mail.  I will then e-mail you (or call you, if you don't provide an e-mail address) to confirm the order.  Once the order is confirmed, you can either pay via check, cash, or PayPal.  I will provide you an address for where to send cash or a check.

How long does it take?

Man, I will tell you, the Loaves of Love crew are AWESOMELY FAST.  If they are shipping it, you will get your bread faster.  If we have to arrange pick up or delivery, it's kind of at the mercy of everyone's schedules. 

I will submit non-shipped orders to Loaves of Love twice a month (probably the 1st and 15th of each month).  You will most likely get your bread within a week. 

How much profit goes directly to you?

We make $3 per small loaf and $5 per large loaf.  All shipping costs go to ship the bread! 

I keep seeing these people who have sampled bread on your blog.  How can I do that?

Just let me know!  We still have some bread left to sample (it's in the freezer!). 

How long do we have to buy bread?

Until Dave either tells us that we can't do it anymore or we bring our babies home.  We'll let you know.

How to Help While Adam's Deployed

I did not plan on Adam being in the military.  If you had asked 22-year-old me if I ever even thought Adam would be interested in enlisting, I would have laughed in your face.  Hard.

So as the time gets closer and closer to this whole deployment thing, it gets harder and harder for me to breathe.  This. is. so. hard.  (How many times do you think I can say the word hard in this post?)

This week was hard (5 so far!) in so many different ways.  You already know about the whole PhD thing.  But after that, I was informed that I had been invited to attend a mandatory briefing about Adam's deployment.  On a weekend when I am supposed to be out of town at a conference that I was super pumped about.  With a hotel room that I had already paid for.  Drat. 

So, you know, I'm mostly concerned about keeping my shit together during the 4 hours of informational overload that will take place.  All centered around the concept that my husband will be going to war.  Gone.  For a year. 

Here's where I remind you that Adam and I have AMAZING FRIENDS.  AMAZING.

I texted a friend, asked her to go with me.  She responded with, "Of course!"  Our friends are really humbling for me.  They remind me how self-centered I am.  I mean, seriously. 

Would I sit through a 4-hour informational suckfest with one of my friends?  I'm not so sure.

I came across this awesome blog post from this wonderful blog called Hopeful Future.  (Though, it was borrowed from Singing Through the Rain.  Wanna give credit where credit is due!)There is a lot of information there, but I thought I would highlight some of it through my blog. 

What kind of support could friends offer your husband or his (Troop? Group? I’m totally clueless as to what they are called…)
It’s called a squadron. At least that is what it’s called in the Air Force. It may be different in other branches. And actually it just so happens that my husband’s squadron does not deploy as a unit. So if you sent something it would be per person not per squadron. If there was some kind of support you wanted to offer a deployed military member, I would say care packages, letters, and emails. Anything that you can send that would make him feel better or that would be encouraging to him. Cookies are very much appreciated! Depending on who you are sending it to, you could ask his wife/family what things he might need or like, such as snacks and toiletry items.

In the Army, it's called a unit.  My first concern is that Adam is taken care of.  He might have Internet access, which would be wonderful, but we're not sure at this point.  Ask me for his address.  Write him letters.  Send him e-mails.  Send him pictures of what you are doing.  Send him food.  He's good at letting me know what he needs and what I can send him.  One time, he asked for some Q-tips, which I thought were for cleaning your ears, so I sent him a little baggie with some Q-tips.  Turns out, he likes to use them to clean his gun, so he was a little put out when he only got a little sandwich baggie full.  Communication is key! 

If I lived close to you what would be the biggest help and/or support I could be to you?
I know a lot of civilian friends who feel the same way. They want to help, but they just aren’t sure how to, and while a blanketed statement such as, “If you need anything let me know” or “Let me know what I can do to help” is nice, it sometimes is embarrassing for us to have to ask. We don’t want people to think we can’t handle ourselves and our family while our husband is away. So here is a list of things you can do without asking:

• Do her yard work. Things such as mowing the lawn, raking, or shoveling are very helpful.  (Reason #857 why we still live in an apartment.  But please know that everything breaks when Adam is gone.  And I don't know how to fix anything everything.)
• Invite her over. On a weekend(s) for dinner or game night or any night. Weekends are the hardest day of the week for military wives because that is usually the time we would spend together as a family or on a date night with our husbands.  (Weekends are hard.  I try to fill the time with work and scheduling activities for every second of every day until I collapse in bed completely exhausted.) 
• Babysit for her. Don’t ask her to tell you when she needs you, say that you would like to help out or give her a break once a week or once a month and have her pick a day.  (In case you were wondering why we weren't further along in the adoption process...this is it.)
• Invite her over on special days or holidays. Days such as her birthday and anniversary and holidays such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and Fourth of July are hard for her while her husband is gone. Invite her over or make sure she will not be alone on those days.  (Holidays and birthdays will be the biggies for while Adam is gone. He will also miss our anniversary.)
• Church. If you go to church together ask her to sit with your family in church so she does not have to sit alone.  (The same thing applies to weddings and funerals.  Sitting by yourself sucks.) 
• Grocery Shopping. Offer to pick up groceries for her and she can pay you back when you drop them off.  (These next two are really the big ones for me.  When Adam is gone, I typically experience a pretty constant level of anxiety-induced nasuea.  Which means ice cream is about the only thing I can choke down.  You can live on ice cream for 4 months.  Not sure about 12.)
• Bring her a meal.  (Ice cream is easy because you don't have to cook it.)
• Don’t just ask her how she’s doing. Chances are she will say she is fine and chances are that she’s not. Instead, tell her hi, give her a hug, and tell her that you care about her and are praying for her. Then actually pray for her.  (Pray please.  Pray for Adam.  Pray for me.  Pray for all the guys in his unit.  Pray for our President and Congress and military leadeship.  I am thinking about setting up a prayer schedule for Adam's deployment.  Let me know if you would be interested.  Please don't ask how I'm doing.  You know how I'm doing.  Just trust that this is harder than anything I've ever done in my entire life.  Let's go with that.)
• Listen. Military wives need a friend. Someone to vent to and another adult to talk to since it’s just her and the children all day long.

Adam and I are an amazing team.  I love this about us.  But it means that when he's gone, so is half of my team.

And there is no 'I' in team.