Friday, August 30, 2013

Four Months

We've owned our own home for almost four months.

Can you believe it??!

People are always asking, "How's the house?  Do you still love it?"

I almost get the impression that people are expecting me to reveal to them that it was all a big mistake.  That, somehow, we were wrong.  That we never should have bought a house this old...this big...this soon. 

But, I will be honest.  Yes, I still love it. 

There are days when I start to cry as soon as I pull onto our road because, wow, THIS is our house.

And I will admit...there is so much that I could have never imagined...never anticipated about this house.

I thought we would already have the electrical stuff fixed.  I thought we would already have a dining room table.  I thought we would have already ripped off the wallpaper in the kitchen.

I thought we would have semi-tamed the yard.  I thought I would have planted a garden.

And, this summer, we did none of it.

But, oh, the other things that I could have never imagined!

I could never have expected to be surrounded by neighbors who truly watch out for us.  Who bring us tomatoes and peppers from their garden.  Who help us look for our dog and pull our mower out of holes.  Who secretly mow our yard when we break our mower for the second time in as many weeks.

I was totally caught off guard by all the critters and the noises and how, after the first month, I stopped being so scared of every single tiny bug...and frog...and bat...and bird...and chipmunk. 

I grew up in the country, but after living in the suburbs for 12 years, I forgot how absolutely stunningly gorgeous the country is.  I forgot what it's like to be able to be in your yard in the early light of the morning and see deer eating apples from the tree.

I forgot how quiet it is in the middle of the night, when everyone is asleep, even all the critters and bugs.

I certainly didn't expect to have the neighbors' cats just prowl around our say hello to them and pet them and to feel like, somehow, they are a part of our little community.

I love being out in the yard with the dog in the middle of the night and looking at our everything is completely dark, except for the golden hubs of life in our home...the kitchen...our bedroom. 

I love having room in the kitchen for Adam and I to cook side-by-side.  I love being able to have room for our friends to gather and drink wine in our kitchen.

I so loved our first attempt at a cookout, where we learned all the things that we didn't know about hosting a cookout at your house...having friends clustered in the barn, on the porch, in the dining room, in the family room...playing cards, eating, exploring our yard. 

I didn't expect it when our friends came over and their kids found a turtle in our yard. 

Which makes me sigh and think that our kids are going to be so lucky to grow up here. 

And THAT is why we bought this house.  This too big...too much...too soon house.

Which leads us to probably the most exciting news yet...

In one week, on September 7, we have our very first adoption meeting!!!

It's really just a general information meeting, BUT we have to attend it to be able to fill out our application to start the adoption process.  Even though it feels like we have been waiting forever (almost 3 years!!) to start this process, I like that our agency only holds these meetings twice a year, in the attempt to create a supportive group for families who are all going through this journey together.

And our hearts and minds have changed some on our adoption route...

Back in May, I was looking at some adoption-related things...photolistings of waiting children, watching YouTube videos, reading articles written by adoptive parents...the usual stuff you do when you're waiting for this process to start...especially when your husband is out of town.

And, for some reason, I was watching all of these videos about domestic adoption.  Which is really kind of strange since, historically, we had both been pretty sold on international adoption.  And I was trying to weigh in my heart if this was something significant (like, life-changing) OR if I was just being overly emotional because we're ready to start a family. 

And I can't really explain it.  I think sometimes people describe a peace in their sprit when they make a certain decision or are faced with a particular situation.  And the only words that I can use to describe how I felt are....blind panic. 

I sent Adam this e-mail that I'm sure didn't make any sense and came totally out of left field.  But the gist of it was...I feel like this day is significant...I feel like we should consider domestic adoption...I'm not sure what all this means...just be open to the idea...and pray about it.

And the best response that a husband could ever give a wife..."I trust your gut on this." 

So, I wanna put it out there...somehow....May 19 is a significant date for our child's life. 

In the meantime, since things aren't already crazy enough, back in July we added a fourth furry member of our family...Shelby. 

Shelby...the dog that stayed with a friend of Adam's for 3 months until we could be ready for her.

Shelby...the dog that tries my patience every. single. day.

Shelby...the dog who bruised the backs of my legs when she ran into them with her cone.

Shelby...the dog who doesn't always under the "potty outside thing."

Shelby...the sweetest dog I've ever had.

Shelby...I don't know how we ever lived without her.