Friday, June 1, 2012

Moving on to Plan C

So, life is really weird right now. 

We had some warning, but it didn't really make things any easier when we got the news.

The deployment has been cancelled.

Yup, cancelled.

I can see some of you reading this and going, "Uhmm...that's a good thing, right?" 

And, ohmuword, it sure is. 

But, in the last three days, we have done a complete reworking of The Life Plan.

And, boy, is that draining. 

I remember, on my way to watch my best friend try on wedding dresses, being in my car and crying crying crying about this deployment.  And I was praying praying praying for it to somehow make sense.   And I just felt this peace--God is funny like that.  And it was just like, "If Adam deploys, then you will have all the money you need for the adoption."  And I was really okay with it from then on.  If I could see the purpose in it, then it was about as okay as it was gonna be.

Now, obviously, I can see the benefits of a cancelled deployment pretty clearly.

Uh, hello?  I get to spend mostly every single day of the next year with my husband!  As I've said many times these last few days...there is no amount of money to make it okay for me to separated from him for that long.  I would rather be dirt poor, living in our little apartment, with no babies for the rest of our lives, if that means that we get to be together. 

And, boy, that counts for a lot. 

And he doesn't have to go fight in a war.

Which I'm pretty happy about. 

(It should be noted that Adam is pretty disappointed.  He was very much looking forward to this.)

I may or may not have had a pretty good pity party for us last night.  We don't do it very often, so I set the table for two!  Things like, "Why don't we ever get what we want?!" may have come out of my mouth.  (Did I honestly say that?  About a deployment being cancelled?!...I told you things were weird right now.)

And my dear, sweet, amazing husband said, "Maybe we are wanting the wrong things.  Maybe this is one of those situations where we don't get what we want because of something better." 

And I know he's right.  But I feel like, lately, we've just had so many doors closed in our smug little faces. 

And that is so hard. 

As far as an adoption update, we have about 25% of the total amount that we need for the entire process...which is AMAZING!  We have been so blessed by the generosity of others and by God's favor on my business!

We are now trying to think and plan and strategize for other ways to fundraise.  We are certainly open to any ideas that you may have.  What have you done for fundraisers for organizations? 

So, right now, we are in a pretty serious holding pattern.  Praying for direction.  Praying for peace. 

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