Thursday, April 18, 2013

Choosing to be Grateful

A while back, I wrote this post about how our friends keep asking us about our adoption; even though, from the outside, it looks like nothing is happening.  And while it's hard to keep clarifying our timeline and pointing out the microscopic movement in this whole process, we are so appreciative of those who continue to be so hopeful with us.  For those who wait, expectantly, faithfully, with us, waiting for the time when we can say, "It's done.  We did it!"

It's kind of starting to feel that way with the house too.  People keep asking, "Have you closed yet?  When will you close?  Is the house yours yet?"  The answers:  Nope.  We have no idea.  Nope.  It's so easy for us to get caught up in the end game and to not see the movement that is happening.  A good friend said, "I need for you to get this house and your babies, because I don't think my heart can take much more of this!"

I know the feeling.  But, while we wait, I want to take some time to point out some positively AWESOME things that have happened in the last two months.

*  Let's start with our realtor.  Since we have never done this before, and we've only lived in our area of about five years, we still don't have a lot of community contacts.  Fortunately, a friend of mine is the secretary at a big real estate office, so I asked her.  She gave me a list of about six people that she thought would really fit well, specifically with Adam and I.  I am always amazed at the ways that people are put into our lives to be able to look out for us.  I narrowed the list to three and had Adam pick one.  He picked our realtor because "he has a kind face."  Indeed, he does.  And our realtor has been a rock star on our behalf...working early in the morning and late at night...fighting for us, helping us understand, explaining things to these two dumb kids who have no idea what to do with a house this big.

But the coolness doesn't stop there.  Early on, Adam had mentioned our plan for adoption, when trying to justify why we needed a house with this many bedrooms (six!), since we don't presently have any children (other than the cats!).  A few weeks after that initial conversation, our realtor sent us this very heartfelt emailing.  He said that he very rarely shares details about his personal life, but that he felt led to share with us that his granddaughter was adopted and that he wanted to connect me with his daughter, who is an adoptive momma!

** We have hit every stinkin' delay that we possibly could in the process of buying this house.  (I've been cautioned to not say that, lest something else go horribly wrong.)  But the cool thing is that every delay actually benefits us, because that will decrease the time that we will be paying a mortgage AND for our apartment.  And, honestly, this is good practice for the adoption process, which will be pretty much like this for over a year. 

*** Because of the loan we are using, we had to make a deal that resulted in us not getting any money at the closing for repairs that need done.  This is a total bummer, but Adam and I had gotten very comfortable with the idea that we would do whatever was required for us to get this house, as long as we got this house.  So we are trusting that there will be a way to get those repairs done without that extra money, and we are choosing to focus on having a mortgage that is $10,000 less than we anticipated.

****Another friend of mine messaged me the other day, asking about how the house-buying process was going.  As we were chatting, she kind of blurted (can you blurt when you're chatting online?), "Have you ever thought about adopting from Ukraine?"  While Adam and I have ideas about where we might adopt from, we are also open to God's insistence on a specific child, in a specific location.  So when people make suggestions, we are always open to truly hearing it, because I have seen God use other people to point us in very specific directions.  Turns out, a friend of hers is doing some mission work in Ukraine, specifically with orphans, and she felt led to point me in that direction.  We are so grateful to people who listen to their hearts and share things with us, even when they (and we) have no idea where this fits into our family story.

*****On Sunday, my best friend invited me to go to her church, since they were having a Music Worship Night.  She had no idea, but Sunday was a really hard day for me and this was EXACTLY what I needed.  So, basically, a minute into Song #2, I was bawling.  Fortunately, my friends aren't afraid of my tears.  She just looked at me and said, "We sang this song this morning, and I thought of you." 

 ******Two weeks ago, when the bank was saying ugly things like "worst case scenario" and "if we have to cancel the loan" I was feeling pretty desperate.  It's so hard to be in a position where other people get to make BIG decisions that affect you and your future children and to feel like there's absolutely NOTHING that you can do to sway their decisions.  I remembered a little snippet from Joyce Meyer a year ago.  She said, "Why do people say, 'All we can do is pray' like it's some kind of small, last-resort choice?"  Prayer and God's provision in our lives is really all we EVER have.  And it's enough.

But I will say that, when you start following God's will for your family, man, you are going to hit some serious roadblocks.  I was starting to feel like it was really just us; but, then, I read a billion blog posts about that exact same thing.  And then I talked to some adoptive mommas that I know and they confirmed my suspicions.  They shared stories of disrupted adoptions, panic attacks, broken appliances, late night marathon prayer sessions, and all sorts of craziness that was intended to keep them from adopting.  I kind of unloaded my fears with them a bit and asked for some serious prayer on our behalf.  Later that evening, the final underwriting approval on Adam and I was approved.  Coincidence?  I think not.

I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but I feel like Adam and I are in for the fight of a lifetime over these kids; who, most likely, aren't even born yet.  We have yet to fill out one single scrap of adoption paperwork, and we are already encountering this kind of resistance.  It's gonna be one wild ride!

Thanks to everyone for your prayers, support, and obedience to that nudge in your heart on our behalf.  


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