Saturday, January 7, 2012

Saying Yes

Anyone who knows me well is not surprised that Adam and I are adopting our first child.  When I first told my friend Sid about the adoption, her response was, "Oh, yeah.  I guess I always just assumed you would adopt."  I dunno...maybe it's the social worker in me that makes it easier for people to assume that this would be my path.  But, here's the deal...our decision to adopt kind of took me by surprise.

I can remember, several years ago, Adam and I having the conversation about having kids and me being more than slightly freaked out that I didn't have that "maternal instinct."  Adam wasn't too worried about it and was just like, "You know, it'll come."  But it was more than that.  It wasn't that I didn't have the maternal instinct.  I'm good with kids.  I like kids.  Kids love me.  Kids are kind of what I do for my job.

But I had absolutely no desire to have a baby.  I remember telling Adam, "I want to be a mom.  And if someone just dropped a baby off at our house, I'd be ready to be a mom.  But I don't feel the pull to be pregnant or to have a baby."  It was confusing.  People would laugh at me when I would try to talk it over with them.  Because, seriously, how can you be a mom if you don't have a baby?!  People would just be like, "Suck it up," thinking I was solely afraid of having the baby, ifyaknowwhatImean.  But it was so much more than that. 

So I prayed about it.  A lot.  I spent the entire fall of 2010 praying about our family.  Once a week, I have about a two-hour commute to work and back.  I would pray and cry the entire way to and from work.  And, one day, it just felt like God very clearly said, "You're just gonna have to go get some of your kids."  Uh...what, God?  Excuse me?  I'm not sure I HEARD you correctly.  Say what?  Because, here's the deal...God could pretty much lead me to do anything.  Travel halfway around the world to find children who belong to us...who belong to our family...who are destined to be Millers...okay, sure.  But I was pretty sure that Adam was not going to respond quuuuiiite the same way that I did.  So I prayed some more.  And God's message to me did not change. 

Then, right before Thanksgiving, we went out to dinner at a restaurant that serves hot wings and margaritas.  This place, funnily enough, is actually where Adam and I have all of our major "family meetings."  Something about hot wings (or is it the margaritas?) that helps us think better.  My husband is a logical man.  So I was fully expecting our conversation to go something like this:

Me:  Honey, I feel like God is telling us to adopt.
Adam:  No.  That's expensive.  I want biological kids only.  That seems like a lot of work. 

So, yeah, I basically expected our conversation to end with him listing every possible reason for why we shouldn't adopt.  Instead, our conversation went like this:

Me:  Honey, I feel like God is telling us to adopt.
Adam:  (deep breath)  Well, it's not something that I've ever thought about.  But I'm glad that you brought it up, because I think it's the right choice for us. 

If God wants you to do something, he'll plant that seed in your heart (usually before you even have any idea what's going on).  He'll confirm his will with you repeatedly (even if it's scary or confusing or hard).  He'll verify it through other people (even before they've had time to make an Excel spreadsheet about it)!

7 comments:

  1. Lacey, sorry about your box of bread delivery. I will get it in the mail on Monday and you can share it next week with friends at work or whoever. Good luck in increasing your family. Our prayers are with you. Dave

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    1. Dave, no worries about the bread! Thank you so much for all of your help and support! You have been so awesome with all of this! :)

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  2. Lacey,
    You know that Brenda and I after many years of trying to have a child went the adoption route and all I can say is that it was the best decision we've ever made. Ian has given us a new purpose and when we took him home at two days old, it was the most incredible feeling in the world.
    I wish that we would have started earlier, but I am so happy for you and Adam as you go on your journey to create what will be one the greatest rewards of your life!
    Todd

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    1. Todd, I love hearing from adoptive mommas and papas! I remember when Ian came a little earlier than expected--the mad rush to get things ready! Thanks for your support!

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  3. Lacey,
    I wish you and Adam the best of luck and love on your journey to adopt a child. It's absolutely crazy! But it's absolutely wonderful! They are all God's children to which there is no boundaries. Thank you for opening your heart to everyone and taking us along with you on this wild ride! As Bette Davis would say, "Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night."
    Love, Cathy Halloran

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    1. Cathy, I think you summed it up best...crazy and wonderful! Thank you for reading our blog and for your support!

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  4. Lacey, you are amazing and I love you!! SO excited for you guys!

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