Killing a Conversation

I have not found a better way to kill a conversation than to tell someone else that my husband is getting deployed.  There.  I said it.  Deployed.  I also have not found a word that, when I say it, makes me feel like I've been punched in the stomach, can't breath, and need to vomit.  Deployed. 

Someone asked me what our timeline for adoption is.  Hhhmm...good question.  I know what MY timeline is.  I also know that the Army doesn't usually never asks what my schedule looks like when they schedule things like deployments.  Or weddings. 

I remember when Adam enlisted.  I had just finished graduate school and was looking forward to settling in, relaxing, taking it easy.  (Excuse me, while I laugh myself silly at this point.  Just give me a minute.  I'll be fine.)  Adam came home from work one day and said, "What do you think about me joining the National Guard?"  I was reading something at the time.  I took a brief minute and, looking over my magazine, said, "Uhm...no?"  When he sat down on the couch and said, "I think this is something that I really need to do," my first thought was, "Oh, shit.  We're really gonna do this, huh?" 

Because, the reality is that this what relationships are all about.  You support me when I do crazy things (suggest we spend money we don't have and fly clear across the world to bring children into our family) and I'll support you when you do crazy things (like join the Army).  That's life.  That's our commitment to each other. 

So, when people ask, "When is Adam deploying?" the short answer is, "Heck if I know!"  Right now, it's looking like probably sometime this summer.  To where, you may ask?  Either Iraq, Kuwait, Afghanistan, or "somewhere in Africa."  (If you're anything like me, when you hear the words "somewhere in Africa," you may be thinking, "Well, see if he can pick up a baby on the way home!")  How long will be gone?  Probably, about a year, give or take 6 months on either side.  See where this whole "adoption timeline" thing is a bit t-ricky? 

Deployment has it's benefits.  Number one, it's what Adam wants to do.  Number two, it's what Adam's been trained to do.  Number three, we get adoption benefits ($2,000 per adoption) if he deploys.  Number four, it gives us the opportunity to save a lot of money while he's gone (for adoption).  The risks, though few, are overwhelming and take my breath away. 

So, if you ask me, our adoption timeline--including a 12-month deployment and the purchase of our first home--is that we will have a Miller baby in our house sometime by 2014.  But check wtih the Army and see what they have in mind.