Thursday, March 1, 2012

Wait, Wait...You Keep Saying "Babies"...

I was talking with a good friend last night who brought up some really good points that I thought I would address.  I love having conversations about adoption!

Friend:  I guess I wasn't so surprised that you were adopting.  I was just surprised that you announced it right after you got married.  It seems fast.

Great point, Friend.  It's really important for people to know that Adam and I don't do anything quickly.  We were engaged for 2 years before we got married.  We dated for 5 years before we got married.  We are on the slow track for everything in life.  Our intention is to start the process now, have great dialogue about adoption and parenting, and raise the money necessary for the adoption.  We also have to factor in a military deployment, which will be over 12 months long.  Once we start the papework, we have to be prepared for things to go very quickly or at a snail's pace. 

Friend:  Do you have to have all the money in order to start the process?

No, we don't.  But we feel very strongly that we would like to have the majority of it before we begin the paperwork process.  Once we start the process, it may only take about 9 months for us to be matched with a child.  We're just not comfortable with trying to raise a large sum of money in a short amount of time.

Friend:  On your blog, sometimes you refer to "babies" or "children"...what's that all about?

It's funny--Adam and I both come from relatively small families, so we always just assumed that we would have a small family, with probably two children.  However, in planning our family, we feel led to have a combination of adopted and biological children.  The other thing to consider is that we are currently intending to adopt from Uganda.  The reality is that some of our children will not look much like us at all.  So, we are strongly considering adopting more than one child, because we feel like it will probably help with many transitions regarding identity and cultural development.  So then we start thinking, "Well, if we have two kids who were adopted, and then we have one biological child, we don't want anyone to feel left out."  Which bring us to two adoptions and two biological kiddos (assuming that we can).  That's the plan right now. 

Friend:  Will you adopt both kids at one time or separately?

At this point, it is starting to make more sense to us to adopt two children at the same time.  Since the majority of the expenses with adoption are related to travel, it makes fiscal sense to try to limit our need for travel as much as possible.  So, yup, you heard it right.  The Millers are thinking about lotsa babies! 

1 comment:

  1. This is my most favorite post yet. I vote 4 babies :)I am SO excited to know that you are thinking about bringing two home with you in one trip. I think that is totally cool and brave of you. Like Superhero Mommy and Daddy :) We will call you the "Super Millers"! ~Becky Wachs~